Prime Timers
(Continued from page 1)
Another time (as mentioned in Eye Contact) I was in the whirlpool and this 60 year-old man, who had been cruising me for an hour, got in and sat near me. I was not interested, and I tried to make that obvious. I sat away from him, positioned my face so that I was facing a wall, and curled up into a fetal position. You would think that he would get the message. What did he do? He tried to play footsie with me underneath the water. I did not expect him to touch me, and when he did I was so surprised that I yelled and sprang up! And then he took offence that I acted that way. Excuse me, but who was cruising whom? Is it not obvious by my actions that I was not interested? And he is not the first (nor the last) older gay man to cruise me like that in the whirlpool. This has happened many times.
When I am at the baths and see older gay men act this desperate, I can only feel for their sense of isolation within the gay community. The need to connect with someone is strong. So strong in fact, that is why many older gay men have relationships with hustlers inside and outside the baths. That desperation and need to be with someone even if you have to pay for it. Maybe that is why so many older GWM and young GAM connect. Both groups are similar in the fact that they both have an air of desperation about their situation. Being in a bathhouse environment, both groups are just setting themselves up for rejection over and over again. So they wind up together, because nobody else wants them.
But it is not all doom and gloom at the baths for older gay men. I have seen some 55-year-old men score just as much as a 25 year old would at the baths many times. There are some men that just have such a strong charisma about themselves that they have no problems finding younger guys to hop into the sack with. Their charismatic aura is so strong that they just become a magnet to younger men. I cannot explain it. But it does not hurt that more and more older men are stopping the age of time. With the baby boom generation approaching their mid-fifties, there are some 50 year-old guys that are still pretty hot! Regular trips to the gym, eating right, and advancements in medicine have made 50 not a depressing number. Just recently I was with someone who was 55, and by his looks and moves on the bed, he did not seem 55 at all!
Just as I had talked about in Chubs and Chasers there are some young, hot looking guys who prowl the bathhouse in search for older men. Just as some men have a fetish for Chubs and Asians, there are a lot of guys that have a fetish for Daddy Types (the term used on the internet). Because a lot of older gay men are not computer literate, it is hard for younger guys to find older men. So they go to the baths, hoping to find one. I remember one time I saw a guy in his thirties, arrive with an older fifty something gentlemen and they headed straight to the sling room (think S&M). Two hours later when they emerged from the room, I noticed that the older gentlemen had a great toned, muscular body. So I could see how the younger guy would find the older guy attractive. In fact I overheard the younger guy tell the older guy, salt and pepper hair was a turn-on for him. And I do not think he was talking about his coif!
I even have a friend, Ari (Bathhouse Etiquette), who is heavily into older guys. Ari and I are the same age, but he likes his men in the 60 something range. For Ari, the older the guy, the better. Once I overheard Ari and a 65-year-old man have anal sex! (I had the room next to the older gentleman!) Ari entered the room, shut the door, took off his clothes (he liked to stay dressed at the baths) and began to F**K the living daylights out of the old guy (I can only assume that Ari put a condom on).
Another time I was doing reception at the gay elder center where I volunteer. I greeted a 50-year-old man who was accompanied by a 20-year-old guy. They were both Caucasian and it was obvious to me they were a couple. Being in a heterosexual frame of mind at that moment, I stopped myself in the nick of time from asking the older gentleman if his son wanted something to drink!
So we cannot ignore the fact that soon we will all be 50 or older. Maybe now is the time to start treating the older men we see at the baths (or even outside the baths) with the courtesy and respect they deserve. Soon we will be in their shoes. It may seem far away, but in reality, it is just around the corner.
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