Racism Or Preference?
(At The Baths)
(Continued from page 1)
That is the subtle racism I'm talking about. The Russian probably doesn't even think he is doing anything wrong. This is not out and out racism, where he is asking colored people to go to the back of the bus. Many Gay White Men have never interacted, or grew up with any people of color. Visible minorities were never around. So, in the back of many minds, (very subliminally), all visible minorities are invisible. The only men GWM sees are GWM. Period.
With about 99.9% of the gay population (the GWM) finding me undesirable and invisible and truly worthless, where does that leave me as a visible minority? Not much. These days when I go to the baths, I go to observe and be a voyeur. You may be asking yourself why don't I hook up with a nice young GAM (Gay Asian Male) Well, because visible minorities can be just as racist as their white counterparts. Not against a different race, rather with their own race.
I cannot speak for other visible minorities, but I can speak about how GAM can be just as racist against there own race. Just as I had said about GWM having a subliminal preference, many GAM have the same preference for white guys only. The Asian upbringing is an oppressed one, consisting of only going to school and studying at night. In adulthood, many Asians have major self-esteem issues and lack the basic social skills and maturity. In short, many GAM are constantly seeking approval. The disease to please. A lot don't even identify with being a different race, having been shielded from any blatant racism growing up. They are (GAM) oblivious to any racism, thinking the world is one big happy family.
Since GAM identify with a white culture, it is natural they want only white sex. Sometimes it is so pathetic to see GAM chase after GWM at the baths. But underneath all of this wanting of white sex is an implicit repressed inferiority. The thinking that if a GAM can align with a GWM (as if white sex is better), and then that empty vacuum of self-esteem can be filled. Wanting to please a GWM, so a GAM can receive approval and acceptance they desperately crave. And the road to feeling secure is just around the corner, however fleeting that moment may be. Hooking up with a fellow Asian cannot fill the same vacuum of insecurity. Many Asians have feelings of disgust whenever interacting or even glancing at other Asians. GAM who feels that way; need to look in the mirror. Those feelings of disgust are actually feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem.
The worst part is that white guys KNOW and are fully aware that that Asians and other races finds them irresistible. More than likely this is why they
treat Asians as a "back-up" at the baths. They can hunt for other prey and if that hunt fails to obtain anyone, they come looking for us – the Asian guy waiting in the wings, ready to give head. Unfortunately, that is the stereotype that gay Asians have. We are desperate, submissive, and subservient, willing to do whatever it takes to please. And we as Asians perpetuate that stereotype, because we appear desperate for white love. And it can backfire. Some
GWM have told me that they would have considered hooking up with a GAM. But the desperation is just such a turn-off that they shun any and all GAM they may encounter at the baths.
With 99.9% of the gay population rejecting an entire race, what is a GAM to do? Go for the next best thing, an older white man. GAM are so obsessed with white men, that even a 65 year old is considered a catch. Many GAM see hooking up with very older man as a way of increasing their status within Gay Asian circles. It is viewed as a social-climbing function, whereby a GAM hopes to improve himself, like some gold-digging female. When I walk down the street or even in the baths, you would not believe the amount of older white men, with very young Asian men. It is astounding. It is like they are joined at the hip. I'm sure that older GWM don't mind all of this Asian attention. Hell, the guy could be green, and if he was young and had a hot body, that is all that would matter. Again, it is the disease to please, which many GAM don't have. So a lot of older GWM take advantage of that.
Being with a GAM that is very young, these older men are able to re-capture a bit of their youth. We (GAM) have a youthful appearance no matter what the age.
Another quality is our soft smooth skin that is a delight to touch, like a baby's bottom. And finally we have a reputation of being very passive, subservient, and submissive in bed (the desperation issue again). So everyone's happy. The GAM has a white guy (even if he is 65, white is the most important thing for a GAM). And the older GWM has a great submissive bottom to be with. It is the perfect relationship! I truly believe if any of these older men were to take a pill to turn 21, these men would lose interest in Asians almost immediately.
97% (I did a calculation) of the men who signed my Guestbook and said they truly like Asians were all over the age of 38, some even over 60! I have yet to have any white guy in his early twenties or thirties (who did not admit to being a rice queen) write me in my guestbook, and disagree with me about their turn-off of Asians. NOT ONE!
It hurts me, when I see GAM align with older GWM like this. And it hurts other GAM, because we are now all viewed in the same light. As some gold-digging male who is only interested in GWM no matter what the age. Older GWM hit me on at the baths almost every week. Just because I'm Asian.
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GAY BATHHOUSE STORIES
