Awhile back, I was at the baths and it was dead. The only customers were me, a young tall white guy and this other white guy who I've seen on and off at the tubs. The latter man seemed to be mentally retarded. He had clumps of hair on his head, thick wire frame glasses and a body like a string bean. He seemed right out of 'Revenge of the Nerds'. Only difference was that he was pushing forty. The tall white guy seemed horny and needed to get off. And whom do you think he picked? That's right he picked the retarded white guy. By coincidence, we even had our rooms next to each other, lying on our beds side by side. That way, the tall guy could make his choice right then and there on the spot. So let's take a closer look. A horny white guy needing to get off has two choices in front of him (literally). And he picks a retarded white guy. Now you may be thinking, 'Well maybe he has a 'thing' for retarded people.' Two hours later I walked in on him in the sauna going at it with a white twink.

The baths have always been known for it's brutal honesty. It is truly a microcosm of the gay community, where you can see men of all ages, shapes and sizes. Just because everyone is welcomed, doesn't mean that sexual discrimination doesn't take place. I've proven my point about GWM (Gay White Men) wanting to stay completely within their race, both socially and sexually. To them visible minorities are completely worthless, and undesirable, and totally invisible. But bring up the subject of sexual racism to any GWM and they get defensive. It is not sexual 'racism', they say, but a sexual 'preference'. If we used this logic in regards to sexual racism, then we would have to say that all gay men are sexist. Since gay men aren't attracted to women.

So if 99.9% of ALL gay men are only attracted to Caucasians, what are we as visible minorities suppose to do? Start seeking out the 0.1% of gay men that are open-mined to a man of color? Alas, we come to the bathhouse for Rice Queens.

One day after getting nowhere at the baths for the umpteenth time, I lamented my frustrations to a friend of mine. After venting about the Asian experience at the baths, he suggested that I check out this 'other' bathhouse. This particular establishment has a reputation for being a haven for Asians and their admirers (who are known as 'Rice Queens') With nothing to lose, I took my friends advice and headed to the bathhouse for Rice Queens.

You would think a place where Asians are desired would be a great place for GAM (Gay Asian Men), right? Wrong! Once I got there, I couldn't wait to leave. The place was pretty cold and uninviting. And I'm not talking about the decor, but rather the clientele. The entire place was filled with GAM of every size and age. If you are into Asians, this is the place to be. You would have a wide selection to choose from. From young Asian twinks to elderly Asian men, believe me it is a buyers market over there.

This leads me to another point, the amount of competition at a bathhouse. Since I was one of fifty other GAM at this bathhouse the competition was very high. Making my chances of hooking up very low. When I'm at my regular bathhouse, I'm maybe one of five Asians, so my opportunity to score is better. Noticing the high competition, I wanted to leave. But I noticed something else, the lack of interaction among all of the Asian customers.

I've been asked a few times (via my Guestbook), why I didn't just hook up with another Asian that day? I would have. But almost every Asian was too busy chasing after all of the available Rice Queens, to pay any attention to me. So let me make this clear. I would consider any guy for sex, regardless of race. And that includes a fellow Asian and Black Men. But unfortunately, over the years, I've never been able to connect with other Asians at the baths for sex or even friendship. They all seem to have this look of disgust on their face. Like they are pissed-off. And it seems only directed to their fellow Asians. Anytime an Asian sees another Asian, subconscious feelings of disgust, rise into their bodies almost immediately. And they would never consider me, a fellow Asian desirable simply because I am not white. So how could I get the attention of an Asian, when no Asian is interested in me?

This anecdote is unrelated to the baths, but it proves my point beautifully. One day at the gym I had a lot on my mind and was a bit distracted. I was about to use one of the machines, when this GAM approached me asking if I would't mind switching with him (each of us using the machine alternately). My mind was on another planet that day, and I told him he could use the machine, and I could do something else. Then I walked away. 30 seconds did not even pass before he confronted me, angrily telling me how I insulted him. “If you do not want to share, just say so. I had asked you nicely!” He then stalked off. It was obvious that he was insecure and very irrational (a common trait among Asians). And the funny thing is he shouldn't feel that insecure. He was really well built, having already achieved his perfect body. Yet when I see him at the gym, no GWM ever talks to him, which is something I know he craves. When I told this story to other white men (gay and straight) all of them said (if they were in that Asian's situation) “Cool, I can use the machine without switching with someone else” The whole point of this story is to show how insecure GAM are and how they treat GWM better than their own race. Let us be honest, if I were white, would he have had the same reaction? I think not. He would have probably thought that it was HE who was the insulter. And unfortunately, until more GAM starts to boost their self-esteem and stop seeking approval, those feeling of hatred towards their own race will never go away.

That is why you can always see a GAM happy and smiling all the time in the presence of a GWM. That smile is not confidence. Rather it is a lifetime of low self-esteem, a repressed inferiority complex, and a desperate need to please. Thus feeling secure. The only problem is that GAM don't realize they are viewed as being totally and completely worthless, and undesirable, and invisible to all gay men. By being constantly rejected, GAM set themselves up to come back for more and more. Since GAM are constantly seeking approval and acceptance from any GWM, the constant rejection is the only thing they know. So it seems normal. And when GAM does get lucky and hooks up with someone white, they feel this fleeting sense of fulfillment, like they succeeded. And it gives them motivation to keep going in their pursuit of a white lay. It really is a vicious cycle.

See below to go to page two of this story