Rice Queens (aka Potato Queens)
Awhile back, I was at the baths and it was dead. The only customers were me, a young tall white guy and this other white guy who I've seen on and off at the tubs. The latter man seemed to be mentally retarded. He had clumps of hair on his head, thick wire frame glasses and a body like a string bean. He seemed right out of 'Revenge of the Nerds'. Only difference was that he was pushing forty. The tall white guy seemed horny and needed to get off. And whom do you think he picked? That's right he picked the retarded white guy. By coincidence, we even had our rooms next to each other, lying on our beds side by side. That way, the tall guy could make his choice right then and there on the spot. So let's take a closer look. A horny white guy needing to get off has two choices in front of him (literally). And he picks a retarded white guy. Now you may be thinking, 'Well maybe he has a 'thing' for retarded people.' Two hours later I walked in on him in the sauna going at it with a white twink. 
The baths have always been known for it's brutal honesty. It is truly a microcosm of the gay community, where you can see men of all ages, shapes and sizes. Just because everyone is welcomed, doesn't mean that sexual discrimination doesn't take place. I've proven my point about GWM (Gay White Men) wanting to stay completely within their race, both socially and sexually. To them visible minorities are completely worthless, and undesirable, and totally invisible. But bring up the subject of sexual racism to any GWM and they get defensive. It is not sexual 'racism', they say, but a sexual 'preference'. If we used this logic in regards to sexual racism, then we would have to say that all gay men are sexist. Since gay men aren't attracted to women. So if 99.9% of ALL gay men are only attracted to Caucasians, what are we as visible minorities suppose to do? Start seeking out the 0.1% of gay men that are open-mined to a man of color? Alas, we come to the bathhouse for Rice Queens. One day after getting nowhere at the baths for the umpteenth time, I lamented my frustrations to a friend of mine. After venting about the Asian experience at the baths, he suggested that I check out this 'other' bathhouse. This particular establishment has a reputation for being a haven for Asians and their admirers (who are known as 'Rice Queens') With nothing to lose, I took my friends advice and headed to the bathhouse for Rice Queens. You would think a place where Asians are desired would be a great place for GAM (Gay Asian Men), right? Wrong! Once I got there, I couldn't wait to leave. The place was pretty cold and uninviting. And I'm not talking about the decor, but rather the clientele. The entire place was filled with GAM of every size and age. If you are into Asians, this is the place to be. You would have a wide selection to choose from. From young Asian twinks to elderly Asian men, believe me it is a buyers market over there. This leads me to another point, the amount of competition at a bathhouse. Since I was one of fifty other GAM at this bathhouse the competition was very high. Making my chances of hooking up very low. When I'm at my regular bathhouse, I'm maybe one of five Asians, so my opportunity to score is better. Noticing the high competition, I wanted to leave. But I noticed something else, the lack of interaction among all of the Asian customers. I've been asked a few times (via my Guestbook), why I didn't just hook up with another Asian that day? I would have. But almost every Asian was too busy chasing after all of the available Rice Queens, to pay any attention to me. So let me make this clear. I would consider any guy for sex, regardless of race. And that includes a fellow Asian and Black Men. But unfortunately, over the years, I've never been able to connect with other Asians at the baths for sex or even friendship. They all seem to have this look of disgust on their face. Like they are pissed-off. And it seems only directed to their fellow Asians. Anytime an Asian sees another Asian, subconscious feelings of disgust, rise into their bodies almost immediately. And they would never consider me, a fellow Asian desirable simply because I am not white. So how could I get the attention of an Asian, when no Asian is interested in me? 
This anecdote is unrelated to the baths, but it proves my point beautifully. One day at the gym I had a lot on my mind and was a bit distracted. I was about to use one of the machines, when this GAM approached me asking if I would't mind switching with him (each of us using the machine alternately). My mind was on another planet that day, and I told him he could use the machine, and I could do something else. Then I walked away. 30 seconds did not even pass before he confronted me, angrily telling me how I insulted him. "If you do not want to share, just say so. I had asked you nicely!" He then stalked off. It was obvious that he was insecure and very irrational (a common trait among Asians). And the funny thing is he shouldn't feel that insecure. He was really well built, having already achieved his perfect body. Yet when I see him at the gym, no GWM ever talks to him, which is something I know he craves. When I told this story to other white men (gay and straight) all of them said (if they were in that Asian's situation) "Cool, I can use the machine without switching with someone else" The whole point of this story is to show how insecure GAM are and how they treat GWM better than their own race. Let us be honest, if I were white, would he have had the same reaction? I think not. He would have probably thought that it was HE who was the insulter. And unfortunately, until more GAM starts to boost their self-esteem and stop seeking approval, those feeling of hatred towards their own race will never go away.That is why you can always see a GAM happy and smiling all the time in the presence of a GWM. That smile is not confidence. Rather it is a lifetime of low self-esteem, a repressed inferiority complex, and a desperate need to please. Thus feeling secure. The only problem is that GAM don't realize they are viewed as being totally and completely worthless, and undesirable, and invisible to all gay men. By being constantly rejected, GAM set themselves up to come back for more and more. Since GAM are constantly seeking approval and acceptance from any GWM, the constant rejection is the only thing they know. So it seems normal. And when GAM does get lucky and hooks up with someone white, they feel this fleeting sense of fulfillment, like they succeeded. And it gives them motivation to keep going in their pursuit of a white lay. It really is a vicious cycle. So to fill that empty vacuum of low self-esteem, Asians subconsciously feel they have to emulate the white man's world. That is why you see so many GAM with blond streaks in their jet-black hair, wearing designer clothes, reading Martha Stewart and chasing after white guys (regardless of age). They hope by doing these social climbing things, they can feel some sort of acceptance from the gay WHITE community. The disease to please. Here is a another example. This thin Asian (who I've seen on and off at the baths for years) came to sunbath by the pool (who needs to tan anyways, when we are already yellow skinned?) He was the typical Asian trying to be white. Completely smooth with almost 0% body fat. He had a leopard skin bathing suit (!), and brought a cooler. Now normally guys might bring bottled water, a magazine and maybe a bag of chips to sunbath by the pool, but not this guy. He brought a cooler, complete with a real glass to drink from, a bag of ice to keep his drink cold, a bottle of mineral water (he couldn't drink out of the bottle?), and a noncarb salad from Dean & DeLuca (the salad was labeled of course). He had both designer sandals and sunglasses (that screamed TOMMY HILFIGER), with fresh blond highlights in his hair. His book to read by the pool was Mage Heart by Jane Routley. He was on page one, and never seemed to get past the first chapter. The book was clearly for show, as he pretended to be engrossed in the book. But in reality, the book was a tool. To get attention, a conversation starter to show he spoke English. 
Now from what I've seen over the years, guy's sun tanning by the pool meet new people and conversation happens. Clearly, this is what the Asian guy wanted. But it didn't happen. The only conversations that did take place around the pool were between the other white guys. Nobody talked to the Asian guy and nobody paid attention to him. He was completely invisible. In fact, a little while later a bunch of white guys stopped by sunbath. They plopped themselves and their towels in front, behind, and by the side of the Asian. They surrounded him completely and talked amongst themselves, completely ignoring him. Now if he was white, there isn't a doubt in my mind that he would have had tons of guys stopping by to chat. The Asian guy was clearly there to make some sort of connection, and it didn't happen. Not only did he not get past chapter one (he was there for five-hours), but every 30 minutes he went upstairs to the dark room, hoping to get a blow-job. And ten minutes later he would return, with nothing to show for it.What really hurts me is when I see a GAM at the baths trying to align themselves with a white guy for conversation, like the Asian I just described. Not necessarily to get laid, but for the sole purpose of that feeling of acceptance from a white guy. The disease to please and fill up the emptiness in their sole. Getting back to the bathhouse for Rice Queens, three types of guys go there daily. The .01% of guys attracted to Asians (Rice Queens), the Prime Timers and the Hustlers. Prime Timers Because of the stereotype that all Asians love older guys, you find 60 even 70-year old men hanging out at an Asian bathhouse, hoping to score a lay. With the exception of 0.1% of GWM who are truly attracted to GAM (who are by their own definition Rice Queens), the majority of GWM view GAM as completely worthless, undesirable, and totally invisible. PERIOD. So why should GWM go to a bathhouse with filled with Asian men? It's not like there's anything for them to be interested in. So a lot of young GAM seem to have no problem jumping into the sack with these old timers. If a GAM can’t snag a white guy their own age (and at 0.1% they are few and far between) the thinking is that any white guy is better than no white guy. What hurts me even more is when I see young, good-looking GAM in the company of sixty-year old GWM. Go to any Yong Lang Club meeting across the country, and you will see a room filled with couples I've just described. Asians want a white guy, and nobody else will do, even if they are sixty. And the logic behind that is any white guy is better than no white guy! While the older white guys get to have a young Asian not only for sex, but to be their companion/concubine. Let's face it, when you turn 65, your options are rather limited. The only men that show any interested in you are GAM. So you just hold your nose and go for it. For instance, this sixty-year old man in Oklahoma sent me this e-mail. "I just read your comments about gay older men and younger Asian men. I do not object to your not liking to be with older men. However, I do think it is strange that in some respects you seem so accepting, and then when it comes to older white men with younger Asian men you must look for reasons why they like each other, hang-ups that they must have. Since you certainly engage in activity that many people would judge disapprovingly, I am surprised that you make these judgments. None of us can explain our desires. We can only control them if they are evil. If they are out of the norm than we try to find a way to fulfill them. I have always liked young Asian men and I am so happy that there are young Asian men who like older white men. There is nothing wrong with that. We don't need to waste our time looking for reasons, unless we are analyzing any human behavior in a non-judgmental way." 
The writer says there is nothing wrong with that. I disagree. It's called a lack of self-esteem and seeking approval. Whenever I see a sixty-year GWM walking alongside a beaming young GAM on the street, I get this urge. I want to run up to that GAM, grab him by the shoulders, start shaking him and say, "Get some self-esteem!" Hustlers Then you have the white hustlers. They know that they're irresistible and can make good money off GAM. If a GAM can't get a cute GWM in the sack, then they seem to have no qualms about paying for one! At times it feels like a vicious cycle of desperation. We are all chasing after something. The Prime Timers are chasing after the Asians. The Asians are chasing after the cute white guys (and when that fails, they pay for a hustler). And the hustlers are chasing after both the Prime Timers and the Asians, for cash. Is it any wonder that I REALLY try to stay away from that bathhouse. Rice Queens But I'm saving the best for last. The white guys truly attracted to Asian men - the Rice Queens. Hip-hip-horray, a white guy my age interested in Asians. Where do I find them? Well first off, these men make-up about .01% of the gay population, and they are hard to find. But they are out there, and some of these young Rice Queens are mighty fine. Seriously if you were to see these good-looking, masculine, Rice Queens you’d swoon too. But here is something you may not realize. Those good-looking WHITE Rice Queens don’t identify as gay, but as bi-sexual. They have a very narrow, specific Asian they are targeting. Bone-thin. Anorexic looking. Super-smooth skin. Those are the qualities these die-hard Rice Queens are looking for. And if you don’t fit in that mode, forget it. You might as well be invisible, like you are to the rest of the GWM population. These so-called Rice Queens are in fact looking for someone who is feminine, but with masculine features. They want to body worship an Asian's body, (kiss, suck, etc) just like they would a female's body, but someone with masculine features. Almost like someone looking for a trans person, same concept. And these Rice Queens seem to be caring, sensitive, and loving. The white guy every Asian is looking for. Unfortunately most of them are just looking for an Asian to lay, and not looking to take anything further. You maybe reading this and saying to yourself “Ok fine. He's using me, I'll use him right back.” But do you really want to be someone's fetish? A play thing someone is using and objectifying like a pair of shoes? I do get a bit irritated when a guy comes up to me and says 'Na Ho Ma?' As if the guy saying that, expects me to be swoon all over him; simply because he knows one Chinese sentence. At this point in my life, I don't know if I could be with someone who is a Rice Queen. Viewing me as an object who is submissive, subservient and a bottom. I want someone to be with me, because they are attracted to me, as a person not as a race. But that might not be so easy. My feeling is if you take the very small percentage (less than 0.1%) of gay men who have some sort of attraction to Asians and break it down; you can come up with this statistic. About half of the men have an attraction Asians to satisfy some weird 'fetish' they have. They are attracted to you as an object. Not the looks or the personality of the person. The other half are men over sixty-five or weigh 350 pounds that can't score anywhere else. So they resign themselves to Asians, since an Asian guy is better than no guy. Then you have the rest of the gay community (99.9%) that has zero attraction to Asian men. I think I'm going to be single and dateless the rest of my life.  RELATED LINKS
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