Why Gay Men Go To The Baths
(Continued from page 1)
But it is not only these straight men having a need to connect. There are many gay men that are lonely and have this need to connect with another man as well. That is why you can see so many of the same men over and over again at the baths, just to hang out. Just as you have a regular going to the same bar night after night. That person would be labeled a regular bar patron. It is the exact same analogy as being regular bathhouse patrons (myself included). Why Like I said at the beginning, a sheer subconscious feeling of loneliness and a need to connect with other gay men.
The bathhouse I go to on a regular basis (and is the backdrop to all of these stories) is known in my city as the friendlier place to go. All the regular clientele is warm and friendly. In short, it is not only a sexual atmosphere, but a social one as well. That social aspect is the primary reason why men go to this particular bathhouse. The available sex is the secondary reason. Usually it is the other way around, so that is why this bathhouse is so special. Also, you do not have to restrict yourself to do just one thing. If there is no one interesting around, there are other things you can do. You can sit in the sauna/steam room, you can relax in the whirlpool, you can read magazines in the lounge, you can watch TV or porn flicks, and you can chat with other guys. There is something for everyone.
When you start seeing the same men over and over again, conversation really does start to take place. And a friendship can develop. But the thing you have to remember is that all of these friendships are superficial. Once you leave the baths, you never see these men again until the next bathhouse visit. And that is only by the off chance you run into them again. And you can easily pick up the conversation where you last left off. That could have been a week ago, or even six months ago. For instance, a while ago I was sitting in the lounge with another friend shooting the breeze. There were many guys that passed by us, and I said hello to this person and to that person. And I knew all of them, 15 in all. But I'm experienced enough to know that these relationships are superficial and don't go out of the bathhouse environment.
If you are aware that all of the relationships you develop at the baths are superficial, that's great. Unfortunately, many guys buy into this false sense of security that they are developing relationships at the baths. If you TRULY think you are developing a friendship, you are setting yourself up for a BIG fall. Plus not all bathhouses are friendly. Conversation is practically non-existent at many bathhouses across the country. The majority of them are rather cold and uninviting. For example, another bathhouse in my city attracts the most drop dead gorgeous men; everyone looks like they have stepped out of GQ magazine. Yet if you even happen to glance at any of these men, they will verbally rip you to shreds. The atmosphere is so intense; the guys are there for one reason. To score as many times as possible. So the sex is clinical and functionary, the way a lot of baths are.
Therefore, I keep going to this one particular bathhouse (not the one with the gorgeous men), because of its friendliness. I have been a loyal customer, ten years. My personal reason of going is to escape. After a long day, it is wonderful to escape from the world. To have a steam/sauna, dip in the whirlpool, and chat up someone. You really feel as if you have escaped from the world, just for a little bit, and that no one will find you. You are away from cell-phones, faxes, e-mail, pagers and everybody in the world. Sometimes it is funny. I will be in the baths, sitting in the lounge, completely naked, in my towel watching the 6 0 clock news. Beside me are a coffee, and a roaring fireplace. I look out of the window and see it is raining. There on television is the real world, and here I am behind closed doors, in this escape world. The irony does not escape me.
Become a fan of Bathhouse Blues on Facebook |
Follow me on Twitter
To comment sign my Guestbook |
Ask Me Anything
|
|
Gay Bathhouse Stories
