Real Men Cuddle
Real Men Cuddle

Recently I spent some time at the baths with my old friend "Jake", (read Been There-Done That) There was the usual kissing, sucking, rimming, and oral. After Jake ejaculated he wiped himself off, got up, lit up a cigarette and started talking. He was sitting on the bed, while I stayed lying on it. While the sex was great, (as usual) it got me thinking how many men lack any real intimacy in a Bathhouse, or in a word "cuddle". Personally, cuddling is my favorite thing to do when I am in bed with a guy. That is what real men do.

After having sex with a guy in a Bathhouse, some men will get up and leave without even a word of acknowledgement, to search for the next lay. You might even run into this same guy during your travels at the baths, even catching him getting it on with another guy. Remember this is how the baths operate: quick and easy sex, so you cannot take it personally. While those actions are rare (hmm, maybe not, these are gay men we are talking about!) the most common thing that will happen after sex is the afterglow that takes place. Some chitchat, the sharing of a cigarette, even some more touching before you both go your separate ways. So while a Bathhouse is known more for quickies and not for its intimacy, there are some men who prowl the baths looking for that intimate partner to cuddle with for hours on end, which is very rare in a Bathhouse setting.

Sam is a jazz musician, who is Caucasian, and one such person who likes to cuddle. I first saw him when he entered the baths, fully clothed, before heading to his room to undress. From the outset, he looked tough. Leather jacket, flannel shirt, ripped jeans, black leather boots, and a goatee. I thought he must be into heavy S&M. Then he started to pursue me, and we wound up in my room. We did the usual oral but mostly we cuddled, specifically the touch of his fingers on my body. Sam is a studier of Chinese massage, and his touch is out of this world. I was screaming in agony and delight by his touch. His fingers barely touched my whole body, as his hands ever so gently, went all over my chest, arms, hands, legs, and especially the sides of my stomach area. That one area gets very sensitive when I am with a guy. When I am cuddling with someone, and the fingers pass that area, I howl in delight. Then Sam re-explored certain parts of my body using his tongue (a full-body tongue bath), and again threw in some oral along the way. Once Sam finished, it was my turn. I had some experience with touching and cuddling (although compared to Sam, I was a rank amateur). I tried to follow what Sam did, but I also had a few tricks up my sleeve. I used one technique I learned from a masseuse I used to know. First I asked Sam to lie on his stomach. Then I took Sam's towel and covered his back, ass and part of his legs. I then massaged him hard using the towel as a barrier. Finally I took the end of the towel and slid it off his body ever so slowly. It makes a mans body tingle all over. I have been with Sam twice since that meeting and each time it gets better and better. With both of us taking turns, we definitely let our fingers do the walking!

Men looking to cuddle at the baths hit on me so often, because I am Asian. With our super smooth bodies, the soft skin we Asians have is an irresistible and perfect quality cuddler's love. I remember an encounter I had with Charlie, a 55-year old investment banker who does not look 55 at all. I later discovered he has kept up a strict regimen of exercise, vitamins and diet. When we wound up in bed, I felt a bit guilty as he did all of the work - kissing, sucking, oral and rimming. I kept asking him what he wanted to do, but he assured me lying there was just fine. Half an hour later the cuddling began. We held each other close to one another, and our hands began to explore each other's body. In the darkness of the room, we talked about each other's lives. It was truly a magical feeling, albeit temporary, being close to someone where you can feel each other's hearts beating. In the middle of our cuddling, we could hear the couple next door banging each other – HARD; the squeaking of the bed, the shaking of the wall, the sound of a slapped bum, the grunts, the moans, and the proclamation of "Oh God" over and over again. All the while, Charlie and I stayed in each other's embrace, enjoying the moment, lightly kissing each other.

Finally, screams came from the other room, as both men had obviously ejaculated. Not even thirty seconds went by before I heard the sound of keys dangling as one of the men opened the door to leave. Charlie and I had spent more time cuddling, than those two men spent f**cking. Turned on, Charlie began the lovemaking process all over again. For two hours, the same format followed, lovemaking then cuddling, repeatedly. By the time we exited my room, the guy next door had already checked out.

Cuddling is not for everyone. As I had mentioned earlier, the baths is a venue for quick and anonymous sex. Once the deed is done, some men immediately get up and leave. After a guy ejaculates with me, I always insist that the guy lie down for a few minutes of cuddling. I do not like the idea of throwing someone out of my room, no matter how bad the sex was. Perhaps that is the overly sensitive side of me. But I want every guy who leaves my room to feel good about the time we spent together.

When you walk up and down the halls of the baths, it is hard to tell what some of the guys are into. Some may be into cuddling while other are into "f**cking. It is very hard to weed out the cuddler's. However, they are there at the baths, and you just have to find them.

9 thoughts on “Real Men Cuddle”

  1. You really hit the nail on the head with many of your observations—I particularly enjoyed your entry about cuddlers—I have had my share of “quickies” over the years, but cuddling resonates with me and I really enjoy it when it happens.

  2. You have an excellent and interesting website that’s well written, informative, insightful, and not without humor. I was surprised to read your comments about most gay white men not being attractive to Asian men. Strange. (Queer?). Thanks. I learned a lot by reading your entries.

  3. Very well done. I really enjoyed your essays. I have many asian friends/fuck buddies, but am not a rice queen. Your insights were fascinating. One small error, ‘color’s’ (or leather) worn on the left side is ‘top/dominant’ and right side is ‘bottom/submissive’ I love to cuddle. Of course i’ve been trying to figure out the city you live in, would you be talking about the bay area? Do you get propositioned a lot from this site? /^\dans

  4. No wonder you don’t get any action. You, and many Asians, are there to watch and be serviced.Get in the action or stop whining.

  5. This is my first but not last visit. Nicely done. I was right there with you every moment. Satisfying lust is good but satisfying the need for warmth and honesty is better. I think I remember those moments better and they seem to bring a smile to my face more. I know it makes people wonder what I’m thinking about.

  6. Enjoy your stories and although not very frequent user of saunas, I had a few interesting viewing (only) experiences, including multiple orgies in London, Rio and New York. Personally I don’t like the format of US saunas – too much meat at display, too coarse. I enjoy cuddling, but there I don’t see it.

  7. So far enjoying reading your stories — I wish you would date the stories so I’d know when they were written…I assume they are recent since you refer to Queer As Folk on your home page…I will make more comments, but just saying hi for now.

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